After regular posts throughout our fertility treatment and IVF since having the little cub the only spare time I have had to write, seems to have been taken up by walking round town in a daze, staring stunned at this little human that we have created or asleep with my eyes open in coffee shops for the last 13 weeks, however the haze is now starting to lift and so time to get back to my beloved blog.
As with my pregnancy diary, I am planning to share regular updates with you about how me and Bodhi are getting on, though as a personal entry to the cub, like a dear diary … but Dear Cub, something to help me document his growing and hopefully for him to read one day without too much embarrassment that his mummy tells the world about his poop.
But first I thought I would share with you a “brief” overview (and it really is!) of the first 3 months of the little cubs adventure earthside, I will also be doing a more “real” mama update, on how my life has changed, but for now here’s how the fourth trimester has been for Bodhi bear …
As I sit here typing I cannot believe where the time has gone … 3 months, I know that its often said, but time really does fly past. Don’t get me wrong the last 3 months haven’t been a walk in the park and I hand on heart can’t say that I have treasured each moment, but every single day whether there have been tears, tantrums, sleep deprivation, anxieties has held more happiness than I thought possible.
Bodhi is such a happy and “easy” baby, AS LONG as he has all his needs met he is really chilled and content. I made the decision from the start to be led by him and to adapt my life for his, we tried so long for him and he is so precious that I would do anything to help him be a happy baby, we have no routine, no set bedtime, I feed him on demand, he sleeps with me in our bed, I play with him when he wants to play, I don’t leave him to cry and i wear him in a sling most of the day, I suppose many may not describe that as easy though for us it works.
Eating & Pooping –
He is exclusively breast fed and took to it naturally even after a few issues in the first 24 hours, he took to it so naturally in fact that he is hardly ever separated from it. It’s not been easy and whole heartidly I’ve not always enjoyed it and have tried and failed many times to introduce the assistance of a bottle, but we are now getting there. For me how you choose to feed your baby is completely personal to you, I understand the health benefits of breast milk, but what I also understand is the health and well being benefits of a happy mum, I have been surprised by the amount of people that still think it is ok to give their opinion on how your baby is fed and what you should do. I don’t want to rant on about this, but I have really found the last 3 months challenging and you feel so much pressure from others on what’s best (or as the debate says “breast”!) to do for your baby. I shall be sharing my breastfeeding journey in another post. So for now, the last 3 months have pretty much been spent with my boob out most of the time, so much so that I forget it is … and end up going to the supermarket with it exposed for all the world to see!
Although I have worried that he wasn’t getting enough milk, as you really have no idea, it seems to have paid off as after being born a teeny 5lbs 9, when he was weighed at his 12 week appointment he was 12lbs 7 and is looking less like the dainty china doll he was and now a strapping bruiser of a boy, with lots of lovely neck rolls and a healthy muffin top.
He has struggled with it all, reflux, indigestion, constipation, diarrhoea, trapped wind … the first couple of months were completely baffling as in what was best to do, we tried many things, inducing Infacol, gripe water etc and in the end just settled for lots of cuddles, comforting, tummy rubs, winding and many many walks around the house and it all eventually settled down … it was just his teeny tiny tummy getting used to the all you can eat buffet and as he didn’t hold back it took a while, but now it seems that apart from the poop – splosions a few times a week (always when you are not prepared for them!!) he’s doing just fine. Although since I typed this yesterday we now have a new poop on the block … frothy green stuff, which i’m assured from my darling mummy friends is quite normal … shall keep you posted!!
Again this has evolved over the 3 months, from being tricked into complacency when for the first 2 nights after he was born he slept like a dream in the hospital crib without a peep for 5 hours in a row (which was obviously because he was completely and utterly stoned from the drugs used in delivery!) to very quickly realising that this little cub wasn’t going to be that easy and after a week of hysterically crying whenever he was put down he became my permanent attachment, only sleeping on my chest, which made me a nervous wreck for the first few weeks, as feeling completely exhausted I would sit upright in bed during the night fighting the urge to fall asleep, which of course I couldn’t and would wake guilty and panicked that I would hurt him and that I was a bad mum. Fast forward 3 months and I am officially one of “those” co sleeping mums (sharp intake of breath!). Bodhi sleeps with me in our bed, not between us, but on the side of the crib which is attached to the bed as it has from day one just to poke fun at our naivety. He lies along side me taking up most of my side of the bed, I have gone from wrapping myself in a big snuggly duvet pre pregnancy and cosying in lots of cushions to having one pillow and a sheet that goes over both of our waists. It wasn’t what I wanted to do and I am completely aware of all the advice and guidance when it comes to safety, but its just how it is and now I wouldn’t have it any other way, I am so in tune with him now that I wake even before he does knowing he will wake any second for a feed, he never gets upset, doesn’t ever cry during the night, just feeds then falls straight back to sleep, we both always wake at 6am every morning to see the other one looking back with big smiles. Its not something that I want to continue till he’s a teenager granted, but for now its where we are and its really quite precious.
So from the moment the 2 blue lines came up on the pregnancy test Mark started researching for the perfect pram. There were test drives and comparisons and finally we settled on the Joolz Geo, especially as it could be adapted if we were to have another baby … so were very excited when it was time for our new little bundle to head out and about in it … Bodhi however was not and it would seem doesn’t like it one bit, he will scream and scream until he is picked up, we tried everything from hot water bottles, tilting his head up, cocooning him with a blanket … he just wont have it! He will only just about stand going in his car seat on it, which again my naive pre parent self said that I would NEVER let him be in the car seat longer than needs be … ha!!
Speaking of his car seat, I want to know who these babies are that are lulled into a happy sleep when travelling in the car … because our little cub sure as anything isn’t one of them. There is NOTHING worse than driving and being stuck in a queue of traffic on the bypass with your baby screaming in the back of the car and you being able to do nothing about it or comfort them, it makes your womb contract and your heart break, this however is starting to get better and he can sometimes manage a 10 min journey if he has been fed before hand and has his mirror to occupy him. I’m trying not to be too concerned that in just over a week we are heading off to Bluestone in Tenby, a four hour journey away!!!!
What has been a life saver over this past 3 months has been the slings and wraps, I have used my Solly baby from day one when as a little teeny babe he just wanted to be on me all the time, I honesty believe that they have helped me keep my sanity and ensure that I had chance to eat and drink. For the first few months he was in it all day, its only these last few weeks that hes started to be happy being put down whilst I get things done, but it still saves the day on a regular basis, especially when he’s over tired and needs to be rocked and danced to sleep … 45 mins walking up and down stairs whilst bouncing is so much easier when he is in the sling. I also love him being so snug and close to me and find it so much easier when out and about … but it is also a really lovely way to develop our bond.
I can’t remember what week it was when the little cub first started to want to play, it seemed to happen over night, I think it was around week 8ish, when he seemed to go from being a newborn whose whole world was just the boob, into starting to notice the rest of the world around him and with this came playtime, which is so wonderful. He really loves it now, he will spend ages chatting to me and his daddy, making faces and loves singing time. He will grab, punch and kick anything he can and gets so excited that his arms and legs go all over the place. His face lights up when you blow strawberries, fly or bounce him … and although I said I wouldn’t we now entertain baby TV and Cbeebies on a daily basis.
The last three months have gone far too quick, I have cried as I have folded and put away all his teeny tiny babygrows when he goes up a size, he now wears t-shirts and trousers too which is very scary as he looks like a little baby boy now, rather than my little newborn baby … trust me there is a huge difference and although every new stage I love, I miss my baby as he grows more independent by the day.
The world is getting bigger for our little cub and all we can continue to do is our best to make it a safe and happy one for him. ♥